ReINTRODUCTION

 

Please give me a moment as I reintroduce myself. It's been quite a while, as a matter of fact it has been almost a year and half since the last time I posted here. A lot of things in my life have changed. I am a different person than I was then. I have grown. I have continued to be shaped by God's grace. I have had the desire to want to start writing and posting again, unfortunately I have continued to postpone my posting. I have felt God began to stir my heart to writing again and that is what I shall do.

My name is Adam. I am 25 years young. Engaged to be married to the most amazing woman. I thank God every day of my life for my blessings, my trials, my joys, and my sufferings. I am a believer in Christ Jesus. I am no where near perfect. I have flaws. I have faults and shortcomings. Those things do not define me though. My Lord, defines me. He shapes me. He molds me. He uses me for His purpose. My life is surrendered to His mercy and grace. I have been forever changed by the cross. I invite you to read along as I attempt to share my heart through this blog. My prayer is through this blog, through my transparency, that God would use me to speak to you. I pray that my posting would draw you closer to something greater; to God.

Thank you for allowing me to reintroduce me; I look forward to sharing my heart with whomever may come across this blog.

God bless,

- Adam

Future.

Have you sat around wondering what's going on? Are you not sure what the future holds for you? Guess what, you're not alone in those feelings. I believe those are thoughts that plague most if not all of us. Don't worry I don't come to remind of the troubles but to remind of the encouragement. I look at my own life and I honestly am not sure where God will lead me, as most of you also probably do. This is what I have come to learn through prayer, reading, and advice from others. I have no need to worry and neither do you! I look at my life and I'm not exactly sure what my calling will be, I am not sure what direction God will take me, but I now know that is okay! Just like in all situations, God is sovereign and is, just as always, in control. Discussing this with a friend, I was made aware to stop and look. I might not exactly know where or what but right now God is at work. I look at different situations and see God shaping things in my life. I see as days go by and decisions are made that God's will is unfolding before me. That is my point of encouragement for all who are reading, take notice that God is working. You might not understand what or why but see that there are opportunities before you and those opportunities are presented by God. All you must do is see the opportunities before you, bring them before God in prayer and just trust the way He is guiding. God opens and closes doors, that is how you know where to go or what to do. You have no need to worry about what awaits but take hold of the moment, serve God, and watch Him take you. Our focus can't be on what awaits but rather on what we are doing now with the current opportunities; because those current opportunities are will guide us to what awaits. So I say if you're struggling, stay faithful to God, stay fervent in prayer, and just serve. Keep you're focus on God and what He is doing in you. Just allow God to work in you and before you know it, you'll watch Him work through you.

Take it all.

How can I be so reluctant to just let go? I lay here in bed so humbled, truly blessed beyond words by the Savior of my life. You see the last few months have been a crazy emotional ride for me; I have experienced both highs and lows and it has left me just drained. I decided a few months back to fly out, and come to see my best friend here in Kansas City. I was highly encouraged to take this as an opportunity to disconnect, an opportunity to get myself right and refreshed; sounds like a great plan no? Well it would be, I have been 3 days so far and though I have progressively been letting go and progressively "disconnecting", it has truly been to no success; that is until tonight.

God thank You for opening my eyes. Thank You Jesus for showing me, even you went away in quiet to disconnect from the trials of this world. I refuse to deceive myself anymore, sure I finally cried it out, sure I feel refreshed but mentally I knew where my mind was. Realizing that this just can't be anymore, that for my sanity I need to stop being stubborn. I came before God tonight, saying God take it all and just give me Jesus. I don't need to hold on to my problems or my pain anymore, it isn't my burden to carry! I am meant to come bring it before my Lord and find my rest in Him. That is exactly where I find myself tonight. After gathering my thoughts and through the help of my friend, I realized even Jesus disconnected to spend time with His Father. If Jesus had to disconnect, who the heck am I not to? I find myself humbled, newly strengthened knowing my God has me in His hands. What weighs me, has been removed. I stand realizing all chains have been broken through salvation in Christ. I know my problems aren't going to just go away, but I can rest assured that my resolution won't ever go anywhere. Sure what I bear might not be easy, it might be difficult at times but I will not carry it any further than from before me to before the cross any longer.

God I stand saying take it all, I have trust and I have faith in You. I see that though a storm is amidst me, I stand amidst the center of Your will. Lord, You are sovereign so I need not worry or be anxious. Thank You, I praise You!

I pray that maybe reading this, if there is something holding you down that you would find encouragement from this. Let go and let God. Disconnect from your situations, just give it to God. He wants you to come before Him with whatever you got but make sure to leave it there, before Him, before the cross.



Eph.4:23-24
Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

Thank you.

I've had quite a bit on my heart to share, this being one of them. 

I really am so blessed, honestly beyond comprehension. 

I can go on and on about what's going on in my life and where even amidst the storm I can see the beauty in it and what not, but I really just want to point out one of the biggest blessings I have received in my life. That blessing, being my mom. 

First and foremost, I want to start by saying she means the world to me and I thank God every day for choosing her to be my mother. I am so incredibly blessed to have been given what I have experienced to be the closest flesh representation of unconditional love through her. My mom is an incredible woman. Many times, I have described her as the definition of strength and sacrifice. I am sorry to say if you're reading this, my mom is clearly better than yours! Never have I met another mother that has been so selfless, so sacrificial, so loving, so caring, so concerned, so forgiving, so dedicated as my mom has been to her two kids. She has done nothing but what has been best for me and my brother, always placing us first behind God in her life. She has poured nothing but unconditional love on me. See I was never the model citizen child; I wasn't easy, I wasn't always a delight, flat out I made my mom's life a living nightmare at times yet not once did she ever stop loving for me. I stand here risen in Christ today and firmly believe in part it is due to the years of prayers and endless tears cried for me by my mother. God answered her prayers and I stand redeemed. As the same with God's love, I don't deserve an ounce of my mom's love yet she adores me. 

Aside from God obviously, she is responsible for me being the man I am today. She has been everything and more for me! I look at my mom and I pray to one day to marry a woman who loves her family as much as she has, who has love her husband as much as she has, who has cared and sacrificed for her kids as much as she has. I pray that I myself can be and do all those things just as she has. She has set me the example to follow, she has raised me to what I hope is a man that makes God and her proud.

To this I say thank You God and thank you Mami. Words will never be enough to describe how grateful I am to have you as my mother and as my best friend. I am a mama's boy and you best believe if you had my mom you would be too. Thank you for always loving me, for looking past my faults and mistakes, for always believing in me, for trusting me, for providing and giving me every opportunity that you never had so one I can be successful, thank you for bringing me into this world (though many times you've threatened to take me out of it lol), thank you for your prayers, tears, and sacrifices, thank you for being an example, thank you for guiding me, thank you for always being honest, thank you for raising me, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you Mami!

And since today was Mother's day, in honor of Mother's Day, this here goes out to my mamabear.

Proverbs 6:20-23: "My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; bind them continually on your heart; tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk to you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; and reproofs for discipline are the way of life."

PSA

I'll never understand why my God is so good to me. I will continue to declare the glory is in His name! Through pain and trials I have found the joy knowing my God is in control. I can take heart, knowing my God is working in me, for me, and through me. I can see God's prescence among me in the people He has blessed me with in my life. Perfect timing, never failing, meeting each need as promised. I am truly humbled and overwhelmed! I probably have every right to be crushed, to be hurt, to be down; but I can't be any of those things the moment my eyes open and see the beauty of God in my life. So many blessings  have been revealed amidst this storm, that I can't do anything but praise Him. Thank You Father, thank You.

Reflections.

So I've had a few posts on my mind as of late, that due to long reflections I just never posted, but I sit here tonight at a point of reflection. I sit reflecting on one amazing weekend. You see amazing has been a common theme for me as of late, and I truly must say it is because of an AMAZING God! I sit here on the evening after Easter, truly reflecting. As I sit and reflect, I must say I think I'm just awestruck at what God is doing and done in me, around me, through me.

Before I arrive at my reflections, I'm at a point of simultaneous confusion. Let me clarify, I shouldn't be happy in my present situation. I won't go in to much detail, but my personal life/family life is in utter turmoil. In a matter of weeks, my life has become an absolute mess. I d to believe I should have every right to be angry, bitter, withdrawn, crushed, down, cold, and many other negative adjectives. That leads to my point of confusion, for I am none of those things and it makes no sense. In that lack of understand is where I arrive at a point of beauty.

I am at an absolute loss for words for my God. My tears have been shed, though they have been tears of pure joy. I am overwhelmed, I am caught up in the avalanche that is the love of God. I leave this Easter weekend realizing the blessings and current body of work that God has put in motion. Man, I am just grateful, I am so unbelievably blessed. I am going through hell, but the fire is refining me and I praise God for it. I give all the praise for the past month, all to God and God alone. I have seen God shown up in such a big way amidst the storm. What has kept me at peace is remembering scripture and studying scripture. I have been constantly relating to Mark 4:35-41, where Jesus amidst a storm that had the disciples in a state of panic was found in peace. You see while that storm was causing chaos, Jesus was found sound asleep. After the panic, they went and woke Jesus as if Jesus didn't know. He calmly rebuked the storm, displaying His power. When I recall that, I can't seem to relate in a way to the disciples. But this time around I'm not panicking, I have taken refuge in knowing Jesus is on my ship. And with Jesus is on my ship and He says He will get me from point A to point B, it might not be the way I think but I will get there to point B. I have my faith in You!

I refuse to do anything but give glory and praise to God. Over the time of this chaos that has been my life, I have seen answers to many of my prayers. I just want to thank Him! God I love you and thank You for so faithful to an undeserving mess. I have felt such an embrace by others around me, that has purely screamed the name Jesus. I have felt God's embrace through His angels that are my brothers and sisters in Christ. I thank you to my TP family, I thank you for being receptive to God's calling, to showing me and family His love, and for the prayer that has come without ceasing. It has been through you guys that I have been able to hold up strong, of course through the power of Christ. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the people that God has called you to be.

God, You are so faithful. I thank You for the salvation that has brought me hope, an inexplicable hope. Thank You for filling me with the joy that only You can bring. I have never been more certain in You and Your power. I have seen You reveal and work in me. Praise, Praise, Praise be to You!

I have been seeking Jesus to be the center of my life, I have seen God is able! I have seen in Him there is hope! I have seen peace is His name! I have seen unity is only found in His presence. I have seen God's love in action, I have experienced it. I have seen that God is ready to rock, ready to use me, and I stand here surrendered to do with me what He may. I have come to God out of pure desire and not out of desperation, though I stand in desperate need of renewed mercies upon my life.

I really wanted to rant on Easter, giving some sort of message and maybe I will, but I feel no stronger message than testifying to God's grace in action in my life. I want to encourage you to first come truly surrendered to Him; secondly to surrender everything going on to Him, and thirdly to trust that He is able to overcome! I believe in a mighty big God capable of mighty big things. I stand full of hurt, of pain, of uneasiness. More importantly though I stand forgiven, I stand proudly abounding in His love, but I most importantly humbly kneel, bowing to Him.

Praise be to God, are four words I will not stop proclaiming and I pray they would become an every moment piece of vocabulary for your life. Thank You God.

with love,
- Adam



Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you,  In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.


- 1 Peter 1:3-9

I'm taking You with me.

^{Phil 4:6-7}

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I'll admit I got anxious and frustrated. I'll admit in my frustration I began to seek and desire. I want things to be different. I'll admit that I feel I'm going through hell emotionally all over again. But I can also admit that I am blessed beyond belief. I am taking pride in my strength found in God alone. I'll admit that whatever I am going through is for my benefit all according to God's perfect plan and will; I have not doubted God's Sovereignty, I know He is at work. I know I am being refined through fire to become the man He needs and wants me to be. For whatever may come I will NOT be shaken, my eyes will remain upon You. You're the only thing that matters. You're the reason I get up in the morning with a smile despite the storm. You're the purpose I have chosen to live for. Do I have a clue what's going to happen? Now or in the future, no clue! NO WAY! Do I see possibilities of many things? ABSOLUTELY! Am I going to put any of my anxieties anywhere but before the cross? NO THANK YOU! I am surrendered to His Will. Whatever my Dad has for me, the answer is yes. I trust Him so much right now. I know His glory will reign in my life because of it. I don't know, I don't understand, but my hope is in Christ Jesus alone and there isn't another place I'd rather have it. I will be just fine

With love

- Adam

Standing.

I'm at a loss for words at the moment.
Things are a wreck but I see no wreckage.
I am in that moment where you have no control of anything and just surrender.
Things in my life have hit the fan after months of flirtation, but I stand strong in Him.

God is too good to me, always. My eyes have seen the glory of God unfold. I honestly don't think I am capable of expressing properly, so please excuse me. Right this moment I am consumed with emotion and passion; passion for a God who cares! I have seen God's hands at work in my life these last 2 weeks, I have seen Him take me and use me. I have stepped up to be a man that trusts in God, a man that reveres and understands the power behinds God's name, and I really do mean this humbly because it's through Him that I have been able to be blessed. With God at the helm of my life right now, I have seen myself step up as a spiritual leader in ways I didn't see possible. I have seen my ship steer smoothly amidst the storm and chaos. There are a lot of things changing in my life; I see positives, lots of positives. I ask for continual prayer, I need it; but praise God because He is unfolding the steps to follow each day. I have plans, God's plan. I am amidst of a storm sure, but better yet I can say I am amidst the calm that only comes with knowing of Jesus Christ as savior. He is so good, so good!

John 16:33 - "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

With love,

- Adam

Refined.

All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship

I should feel discouraged, but I am not. I should be upset, but I am not. I should be making excuses to revert my ways, but I won't! Man it doesn't matter what you're going through, God is still God. He is with you, step by step. He is the calm and comfort amidst the storm. He is the soft whisper of encouragement that is telling you, it will be alright. I think many of us have a reason to want to stop, but if you were stop to take a moment, you'd realize God is with you. I stand firm this morning, Lord refine me through the flame. The devil can continue attacking, attack my family, attack my schooling, attack my job; he can keep scheming. I stand boldly before Your throne claiming victory already. I am a conqueror in Christ, the devil can attack all those aspects of my life but there is one thing he can't do and that is stop me.

My life can be a mess, attacks can come left and right, but I know no matter what nonsense comes my way, no powers or principalities can stop me or keep me from God! I will stand firm in Christ, the rock of my life, the firm foundation! Go ahead and bring it because my God is with me.I will keep praising, I will keep living for You. It doesn't matter what trials have come my way, You are greater, You are stronger. The mention of Your name can make the seas roar, Your very breath can snap his neck in two. That is God I believe and trust in, a God of POWER! I pray for encouragement not only for myself but for all of you reading. I know I am not the only one dealing with tough times, that is amidst a storm; but I encourage you, stop and PRAISE HIM! He is with you!

Daniel 10:19
And he said, "O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes, be strong!" So when he spoke to me I was strengthened, and said, "Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me."

Psalm 94:19 
In the multitude of my anxieties within me,Your comforts delight my soul.


John 16:33
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."


PRAISE GOD AMEN!






with love,

-Adam

Renew.

Romans 12:2a NKJV

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind... "

I find myself smack dab in the middle of what has been one of the most eye opening, perspective placing, heart breaking, and life changing experiences in my life. That experience has been known to be called the One Conference 2012. I will later on tonight be wrapping up the third and final day of the conference, and I must say I can't begin to start to put in words everything that's being instilled in my heart right now but that verse above is the overall description of what's going on right now. I find myself in a place of perspective, renewing my mind through His Spirit; realizing I find myself in a place where I have been convinced by the lies of this world. I have conformed to the ways of this world's water downed form of Christianity, rather than following the natural passion He boils in my heart. So I stand here today, renewing my mind, refusing to conform to the world, and allowing the word of God to transform my heart. Things I want to be, I will start believing I am. Not that I want to, or will be, but that I AM. I am a man of God, I have the word of God hidden in my heart, I am a spiritual warrior, I am a fervent prayer, I am a spiritual leader, I am the spiritual guide and leader that my wife and family will one day depend on, I am a man of honor, respect and loyalty. I am those things. I am and they will come to fruition as I listen to God, whom is telling me and showing me in Him and.only in.Him, I am exactly that. Man, do I believe in Him. I trust You God.

-Adam

Man up.

Author Douglas Wilson defines true masculinity as “the glad assumption of responsibility.” Man I pray to be a man of true Godly masculinity. I want to be a man who takes on the glad assumption of Godly responsibility in His life. I want to be a true Christ follower, a true spiritual leader, a never ceasing prayer warrior. One who seeks council in You. One who can help others in their ways, yet strong enough and humble enough to pray for himself to not lose His. I want to be a man truly dependent on God and willing to accept help from those He puts around me. I want to be a man stripped of all earthly pride, but takes heavenly pride in His Father. I want to give myself up for others, especially for my wife so God chooses to bless me with one, one day. As scripture says I want to be able to say I love her and others as Christ loved the church and give Himself up for the church. I want to be able say every day that today is His and for His glory. I want my life to be all about Him. I want to be a leader, a decision maker, but one that is wise enough first to listen and trust God, secondly to be humble enough to ask and accept advice. Most importantly, I don't want to ever disappoint You. I want to make You proud. I know the beauty is You're so loving and merciful, that I'll never hear the words I'm disappointed in or ashamed of you. But I want to do as my life verse says in Acts 20:24, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." I want to go so hard after, following You; that the day You call me home, I arrive collapsing, short of breathe, only to be lifted up and find rest in You from the words "Welcome Home Adam. Well done my good and faithful servant".

These might be a lot of standards to hold myself up to, but it is the life I feel called to live by Him. I don't see how I can live life any other way but His. I know I'm far from being there, to be honest I might or might not achieve these standard at all at some point, if ever; but God, through Your power and guidance I will strive, I will strive.

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. - Psalm 1:1-2

How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, LORD; teach me your decrees. With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth. I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word. - Psalm 119:9-16

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. - 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Be Blessed,
- Adam

Back.

So being only on Tumblr just didn't work out the way I wanted; I missed being here. First off, what drew me back. Tonight I started skimming through my old posts and now I've begun tearing up now. Just seeing all that God has done in me since day 1 is so humbling and yet seeing how in love and passionate about my new found salvation breaks my heart. It shatters me to know I'm not there anymore, and I don't understand why or what led me here. I have no one to blame but myself. As always I got in the way of me. It's basic math, easy solution, remove myself from the equation. Go back to making my life all about Him. I can tell you right now, I am laying in bed listening to a band called Starfield. The last 3 songs have just broken me completely.


Some of the lyrics:
"I want to get back to where it all began, When I would long for only You. Like a child I'll take You at Your Word, as these mountains of doubt, they fade away. I'm longing to trust and love You more, so for me this is beautiful. A brand new thought, and a brand new world, can I stay here forever with You? I've lost sight of what first drew me to the love that pursued me" - "Can I Stay Here Forever" - Starfield


"So, I want to let go. I want to let You know all that I have to give is Yours" - "All For You" - Starfield


"For what do I have, if I don't have You, Jesus" - "Cry in My Heart" - Starfield




Christ, You have been faithful to me always. I see throughout since day 1, when I pulled over that night broken and meek, just crying, screaming for You in sweet surrender. You have held up to be everything You said You are. You have changed me and everything around me. You have loved me, embraced me, led me, comforted me, built me up, given me a firm rock to stand upon. You have been everything You said You are and more, yet I find myself today having forgotten all that. Yeah sure, I've been praying and serving, occasionally reading and doing the things I should. Yeah sure I haven't become some heathen or terrible example of a Christian, but somewhere along the way I lost myself in myself. I have forgotten who You are and what You've done for me. I forgot who I am in You. I've allowed disappointments to lead me from loving and trusting You, not realizing that Your sovereignty has been there all along, showing everything has been for my good. So God, I come to a place of seeking grace again. I ask You to engulf me in Your mercy again. I ask that I lose myself in You. I want to be for You, about You again. I give You back all my trust, You deserve it. Even if I had nothing, I have You and that is enough!

that is so true and for that I thank You

with love,

-Adam

Moving On.

I think it's time to retire this blog. I think I'm going all on in on Tumblr. Follow me at http://imageoftheinvisible.tumblr.com/
Thank you for following and reading. I hope it served it's purpose in helping others.
Yours Truly, Adam

fight from your knees

Fight from your knees and the giants will fall. Are you kidding me? How is that even possible? Aren't at some sort of disadvantage?The fighting from your knees is, well, it's called prayer; something we all say we'll do but few of us actually do consistently. Oh man, I'll keep you in prayer, and you never do it. Or have you wondered why you're struggling with something or just searching for answers but can't find the right direction anywhere. One simple explanation, you're trying to do it on your own. Newsflash, you won't be able to accomplish it on your own. We can't, we're weak to the flesh. In John 15, Jesus makes the last of what we have learned to call the 7 I am statements. The seventh one He makes it clear to us, He refers to Himself as the True Vine. We are His branches. They are so many different ways to look at this, but the way I see it right now is that we only can do and live through Him. Let's take a tree, if you cut the branch off; it's rendered useless. Very much so, if you cut Christ out of our equation, it's useless. Why can't you stop sinning, why do you always give in, why are you stuck in this plateauing dry season? Check your relationship with Him, and be honest while you're at it. Oh yeah I have a strong relationship but I don't know man I'm struggling. Well how strong is your relationship, how often are you reading our instruction guide or what I refer to as my survival kit, the Bible. That's where you'll find your answers, that's where your relationship, knowledge, and love will grow and strengthen. Read God's word, then pray sincerely. Spend time with your Father, talk to Him, listen to Him. How do you expect to grow and act like Him, when you don't know Him well.You want to conquer? You want to your life flip around? Dedicate your life to prayer and reading His word; not just Christian books, articles, or podcasts as good as they are, they shouldn't take precedence over reading His word and hardcore prayer time. You want to see the giants of your life fall, start praying to God who conquers and empowers; start fighting from your knees. It's ironic to be writing this because it's my biggest weakness, so don't think you're alone. 


love always.
-adam

It's been a while...

So hello again, it's been a while; I've only written four times this summer, I'm sorry for that. You probably don't care, but I do, it's kind of an apology to myself too. I forget how important it is for me to write because it's one of the few channels I have at getting my truest thoughts out; the other being prayer, and even then I write those most of the time. 


Well, let's see, this summer I've definitely kind of taken an emotional break. The past year has been an emotional ride for sure, and at the beginning of the summer I just felt overtaken by my emotions. It was only thing ever on my mind. My emotions consumed me. Then came Costa Rica, which was probably one of the best, if not the best experience of my life. God broke through me there. Some of the darkness of my past had creeped back in, I was no longer refreshed, no longer really motivated. God changed that in Costa Rica. He peeled my eyes open again to see where I was at now and not where I was at before. 


That's where I'm focusing now, I'm focused on the here and now. It's all I have, it's all we have. We had the past, it's gone. We don't have our futures, because it's not guaranteed. So the here and now. I see it differently now, as to before when I focused on everything that had gone on. This last year has been challenging and trying. Whether it be my own emotions challenging me, whether it be the lost of a loved one, changes amongst my friends, dealing with school problems, jobs, conflicts of my heart, frustration of the lack of progress in my life after months of leaps and bounds of progress. Those are just some of the things that consumed me. I let it go, and let God. Allowing all those things to consume and keep my focus away from God became a form of idol worship. It snuck up on me and took control. I'm glad to say things have turned out better now. I know it's because I'm no longer carrying heavy burdens, heavy concerns, heavy emotions. They all were casted on my God, where they belong. Since then God has really shown me a light at the end of this tunnel of chaos I had going on. I don't think I've sprinted harder to that light. I can say I'm basking in His light now. And I can see He is blessing me for it. I found the flight I was longing for. I just celebrated my 23rd birthday just 3 days ago, and I feel it already going to be a better year. Just yesterday I started a journey of an opportunity that has been placed before me by a man I view in high regards and as another father, and all opened up by God Himself. I started my employment with Chik-fil-a with the purpose of being in their management program to hopefully one day become a franchise operator. It will be stressful, it will be challenging, it will be pushing and demanding, but I will be fearless, I will be faithful, and I will be pressing on in Him. Because in Him I can do all things, with His strength I can achieve things; and all the glory goes not to myself or anyone else but Him. I absolutely love my life right now, but I absolutely adore God for always being faithful, merciful, graceful, and loving towards me. Glory to God and God alone! 


Well I hope this can be encouraging. If you're struggling or lacking direction. Lean on Him and not your own understanding. Trust in Him, just try it and see where He takes you. He won't let you down, promise.




Well with love as always,
- Adam

This is how the heart breaks

The breaking point I've been seeking for months has arrived; my heart has now been shattered to pieces, in the best way possible. Has anything really changed? No. I'm still struggling, I still have things that are bothering me, I still have issues to work through, people are still hurting and upsetting me; but the difference is my focus. I don't care anymore! Why consume myself, upset myself, drive myself on issues and situations beyond my control that have resulted in me missing and losing the joy I had. It's a matter of perspective and that perspective has been my point of view for a while. Woe is me! I am selfish, I am stupid. I have placed myself before You. How dare I?! Lord, Father, Aba, Dad forgive me. I lost the driving force that had me passionate for You. That driving force being the remembrance of how I was once lost, and how so many people all around are just as lost as I was. That this world is filled with people that don't know Jesus and are in dire need of a Savior. Who the heck am I; to spend my days concerning myself with petty immature issues rather than on the real purpose of my life, which is to spread the good news. What happened to my life verse, Acts 20:24? Have I really been roaming a meaningless life these last 2 months or so? In part, yes! Like the verse says, I consider my life to be meaningless if I'm not testifying to gospel of God's grace, and I haven't been placing that priority on my life. I have been so focus on myself; my life, my issues, my struggles, my walk. Not that any of that isn't important, but it shouldn't be the central focus of my life. Testifying about God's grace needs to be my concern. The cross and what Jesus did on it should be the epicenter of it all. I need to go back to a cross-centered life. I'm back to a cross-centered life. I'm realizing again where I was, where I'm at, and how it is all about Him.


I wrote this about a month ago, right before Costa Rica. It has been sitting among other things on my drafts list. It was just days before I departed, and I had just finished my 3 week fast in prep for the trip. I share this not to boast, or well not boast about myself. I share this to boast Him. This was before the trip, I needed to be broken down and He was faithful. Better yet He is faithful and will always be faithful. It's why we need to be at the heart of constant worship of Him and who He is. I don't think Costa Rica could have been so impactful on me, if I did not seek Him prior. I needed to be broken, I needed to be stripped bear again, I needed desperately to rip the flesh off my bones to be just mind, heart, and soul for Him. I say this to tell you to just trust Him. When it seems impossible, when it seems possible, when it is easy, when it is hard, when you have other options, when you have no other options; just trust Him! He is good, He is faithful, He is true, always! Praise You!


love always.
-Adam

Follow You

There is so much going on, so much around me and I don't seem to care about anything but YOU. Thank You Father for allowing me to refocus, for changing my perspective and outlook, for stealing my heart, for bringing me back to the heart of worship. Call me selfish but everything that consumed me prior to Costa Rica has been shoved aside for my Lord, my Dad, my Savior, the only one who truly loves me; and that is the way it should be. He isn't number 1 on my priority list, He IS my priority list. I just pray that You help me remain here with my eyes fixed on only You. I know decisions aren't easy, but the ones I'm making are the ones I know You're guiding me through to make. I ignored Your lead for too long, so now I follow You to wherever You take me. First step of me becoming the leader He's calling me to be, is to first learn to follow His lead. 

I posted that on my Tumblr account just the other day, and I have to admit, that it truly doesn't begin to describe my heart right now. This verse comes to heart, Psalms 61:1-2 "Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I". I know I have a higher calling than what I've been living up to thus far in my walk with Him. I know I am called to greater things, I know I am called to be stronger, to be more of a leader (and one that truly leads by example first). But I have desperately needed to answer His calling, but I've been ignoring it for months; just like I ignored His call for so many years. Lord, I am here! Send me! Do with me what You want. I am Your servant! My life means nothing to me anymore, I just desire to testify to who You are and that is it! I have said this so many times, but I am crying it out now; just like I cried out His name that night and He answered. He IS answering again. It's been almost a month since the most amazing experience of my life, Costa Rica. A quick side note: Thanks to Him for being faithful and true, thanks to you who first mentioned it to me that night and encouraged me to go, to those who suggested I pray on it and seek God about it, to those who prayed for me before, during, and after. Thanks to you all who it made it possible for me to experience this. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I hope to write all about it soon, but for now I'll just say it was a life changing experience that has opened my eyes to who God has been calling me to be. I can't begin to tell you of how much I'm letting go because He told me to. So much has held me down for months, so much has distracted me. I cast down my walls, my idols, my distractions and I lay them all down to glorify You. You have shown me how and why I need to obey, and faithful You will be to me when I just trust and follow. I am not sure why it has taken me so long to understand, when there is proof all around me at the results when you do as such. But here I am Dad, take me where You want; pull, push, peel, stretch, mold me as You want; guide me as You wish because all I know and all I want to know is You, Yahweh.

Love always, 

-Adam

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20

Bon Voyage.

I'll make this short, I expect my next post to be lengthy. Well I leave tomorrow morning to Costa Rica on my first mission trip. I can't begin to describe how excited and stoked I am. I honestly don't know what to expect, I am clueless as to what God is going to do through this mission work. I just know I prayed hard, and was chosen for this by His divine plan to go. I know I was selected to go out to a country with people that have a divine appointment with the Living Breathing God of the universe. That is honestly all I have, I know there is a purpose for this trip; what it is exactly I don't know. I'll be going with an open heart and open mind to serve the God of my life. I feel truly called for this trip, my passion is trying to reach lost people that are need to hear the gospel. I desire to live out the Great Commission. I pray God uses us in a mighty way on this trip. I pray that all those involved or come in contact will be rocked by Jesus Christ. I ask that you keep us in prayers as we travel and work for our Father. I ask you pray for those God has a divine appointment for, that they have an open receiving heart and mind willing to see the good news we bring. Just keep us in severe prayer. I love you guys, and I hope to come with news of how God rocked this world more than He already has.

With love as always,
Adam

Hopeless?

We could all bear the world, and fold our dreams to faults.
But when did hope fall short, and force our lines to crawl?
- Oh, Sleeper

This is a lyric by one of my favorite bands right now, and that is Oh, Sleeper. I feel this is a perfect representation of a lot of our lives. Amid the chaos of life, we get so caught up in being "hopeless". I am a victim of this for sure, unfortunately. I'm not sure why it is so easy for us to lose focus of the big picture so quickly; but it is definitely something we all experience at one time or another. Whether it is a certain situation giving us trouble, maybe a habitual sin we feel bound to, or just life in general overwhelmingly crippling you to a corner wanting nothing more than an escape. I can tell you from experience in all three of those that it is hard not to just fold up the tent and see our hope fall short leaving us in a limbo of hopelessness. It is way more difficult to fight through it and keep your focus on God amidst trials. But can I tell you a secret, this is only the case when we do it by our own power, on our terms, and basically without God. Here is a newsflash we suck as people, we are natural born sinners that just wreak of horridness. We can't do anything without Him. In John 15:5-8, Jesus makes the second of His "I am" statements when He says, "I am the Vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does remain in Me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. This is to My Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." He clearly states we are branches of Him, but apart from Him we can't do nothing. The Bible likes to reference us as plants or trees, and I think it's a great representation. They each have roots and pending what they're rooted in, pends how they will grow. It is the same for us, pending what we are rooting ourselves in, will in turn result the kind of person we grow to become or the fruit we will bear. So you want those good fruits, the ones like strength, faith, and dedication, the ones that will get us through those tough times, trials, or habits; then we need to be rooting ourselves habitually in Him. That is the bottom line, like I mentioned earlier it's Him that will carry us through. It's no wonder things seem "hopeless" at times, it's usually because we're seeing things through our perspective based on what we alone are capable of on our own limited capabilities. So stop, get your eyes off yourself (I'm including myself in this one) and focus back on God. It's not us, it's Him that will make a way for us to get through it in Him. It's why our prayer life needs to be strong, so we're familiar with Him, we're comfortable with Him, we can trust and have our faith in Him. It's why we need to be reading and digging in His Word, so we can see what God is like, so we can know what He's done, what He is capable of, it's proof of how faithful He is. Man, let's persevere through it in prayer and dedication to Him; so that our hope never falls shorts.


with love,
Adam

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair. - 2 Corinthians 4:8

Listening Skills.

15 Fools think their own way is right,
but the wise listen to others.

I just got smacked in the face with reality, thank you God for pointing it out again. He is pretty good at it. Flaws or I guess habits that I know I have, but I can’t seem to shake. Geez, do I need to learn to listen, especially to those that care and are taking the time to sit and help me. I’m always quick to jump the gun and speak, always quick to be somewhat defensive. I need to learn so bad how to stay humble and shut up. It’s so hard because not something I knowingly do, but I tend to catch myself in the process; which consequently is too late already. Ahh, it’s frustrating. I don’t know if it’s a pride issue or a stubborn thing, but I know it’s definitely a problem nevertheless. God, I need You so bad. This is not something I can shake on my own. This is where if I was just that much more Christ-like I could shake. Unfortunately, it’s such a lifelong process. I can only pray this isn’t a lifelong issue. I know and can see how it affects those speaking to me. It’s just so rude and inconsiderate. Lord, break me, break this habit of my own. Dad, just rid me of myself so when I talk it’s You, and when I listen it’s You. Just help me continue to grow to be more Christ-like. Help me be slow to speak. Give me the discipline to read more, the dependency to speak with You more, and the brokenness to just desire and love You more. For I know, this is how to become more like You Jesus.

To those I’ve unfortunately done this to, I’m truly sorry. Shamelessly tell me to be quiet, call me out to listen first. Hopefully in time, I can grow to be a true listener; to not be such a fool, but to be wise in His eyes.

With love,
- Adam

So again want smack in the face, yeah He does it. Sure enough I wrote the above earlier tonight while working at a basketball tournament. I was bored, waiting for the night to finish, so I decided to take the opportunity as a chance to read the Word. So I picked up in Proverbs, and sure enough I read the above verse mention, Proverbs 12:15. I immediately felt the conviction like I said, but God wasn't done talking to me and teaching me tonight. I arrived tonight at my meeting for the Costa Rica trip, and yeah there it is again being reemphasized. It wasn't really the purpose of tonight's session, but a friend made such a valuable point about listening. So vital to take the time to truly just listen; like the verse I mentioned says it's wise to listen to others. Sure enough I'm a fool, unfortunately. Later on tonight, I got chance to truly put in play and practice what I was being taught and shown by Him. So humbling to experience the Lord, just talk to me and then use me for His purpose. It's crazy how "coincidental" things tend to happen sometimes. How every thing just seems to go together, like a true process. You call coincidence, I'll call it His perfect plan. It's amazing what your eyes can be opened to when you take the time to just listen. 

Thank You Father for Your never ending patience with me. I ask You continue Your work in me and through me. Teach me, rebuke me, improve Dad. I love You, I need You. Amen.

so again with love,

- Adam