Kick-off!

Hey guys! It's everybody's favorite HappymeaL, or at least I hope so since I'm probably the only HappymeaL you know. That was my attempt at a humorous intro, sorry I know it was a fail. Regardless a friend of mine has been recommending me to start blogging for weeks now, and well I'm finally giving in (btw a huge thanks to them for being such an encouragement, which is something ill talk about another day lol). I am going to use this as a means of getting my thoughts and opinions out, or at least for the most point trying to. It's definately something I struggle doing.

I'm not sure what I'm doing nor why I am doing this, but for now I'm doing it anyways. Why not right? I recently started writing poetry and thoughts out in a notebook. I haven't really shared them too much. Actually the first person I shared anything I've written with was just under 2 weeks ago. I first shared a short thought I had written out on my way home that night. It's pretty crazy I won't lie, simply because I tend to only write in my car, usually late at night on my way home from somewhere. Not quite sure why, but I guess my lunchbox, as i like to call my car, is my place of inspiration and thought; my own personal writing sanctuary I guess. The even odder part of all this, is that I tend to write things rather fast. There is usually no real thought of what I am doing, it just kind of comes out. I have yet to take more than 5-10 minutes to write anything I've written so far. I don't say any of that to boast or to say any of it is any good. But I do find it fascinating that I can write so fast in the oddest of places, my car.

So back to what I was saying, I wasn't even sure where I was going with that thought I had written down that night. I told my friend about it and they asked me to share it with them. I was slightly hesistant to do so just because, well I'm not sure why actually but I was just hesistant. Despite that I figured why not and shared it anyways. My friend was actually quite receptive about it. They liked it a lot apparently, and consequently asked me if I could share more. I was rather flattered they had thought what I wrote was actually good because personally I thought it sucked (lol). So I decided I would share with them two more short poems I had written the previous night. Again they really enjoyed it and just gave me praise on how good they thought it was. Then that is where the crazy thing happened. Mind you this is the same friend who has recommended me to start writing and now blogging, well my friend suggests I should make a song out of something I have written. Sure enough, despite hesistation I did. I don't think it's great, but to be I'm not sure I care. What is really important is the fact I'm finding and welcoming opportunities to express my true self. To be honest, I tend to fear to open up and share my thoughts about certain aspects of my life. I am sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. I can openly admit I have hard time trusting people. You can thank that due to my past experiences. Unfortunately some of the people that I have opened up the most to, people that I gave my 100% trust to, people that I have considered to be family, were the people to stab me in the back time and time again. Oh well it is what it is I guess. Kind of ironic that I'm writing how I don't trust people at times and that I don't like to open up but yet I find myself doing that very thing. I guess this blogging thing might be a good channel of expression for me. With that I'll bid thee adieu and God bless. =)