Easter Time

Hey guys,  just a few days ago we were celebrating Easter; I'll start there. For me, this Easter was truly special. It was my first Easter as a Christian. I've always celebrated Easter because of my "faith", but now I celebrate it because of my relationship with the true risen Savior. It was a great experience for me; to finally understand what we're remembering and celebrating. The fact that He is risen. 

Last week, the leader of my bible study (Roman's Road, check it out) asked me to lead the study. This was my third time leading a study, and I truly enjoy it. But this one was different, it had a special meaning behind it. I spoke about "professed" Christianity vs. real Christianity, based on my own life experience. I tied it in with Easter, and what we're celebrating. Then I wrapped with what it means to be a real Christian. Then I closed it off with a challenge. My challenge after we partook in communion, was that we don't let this celebration be just a Good Friday or Easter thing; that this be something we remember and celebrate every day of our lives.

It's a challenge. It's easy to get caught up in the emotion of this past weekend, but I ponder why can't we get caught up in the emotion of what He did, every single day. The same emotion that drives us that weekend, that has us remembering what He went through; why can't we have all the time, we should. That's my challenge to myself, that every day be a remembrance of what my Savior did for me. To never forget, what Jesus went through, and not just the cross; but every single ounce of agony and pain. From the night before in the garden, when He was sweating blood; all the way to the moment He said, "It is finished". That entire process that He went through, for us. The pain He suffered, for us. Everything was done for us and our sins. Whether we reject or accept Him, He loves us and knowingly died for us. Wow. How awesome is He, but unfortunately we take it for granted and choose to remember it only on this past weekend. So again, to those reading this; I challenge you. I challenge you to also never take it for granted, to constantly remember what He did for us. To allow that remembrance be the driving force behind our growing passion for Him. Allow it to be a recollection of the sacrifice He did, and that we should be a little more sacrificial with our lives for the kingdom of God. Honestly, what else do we got? If our lives aren't being lived for His kingdom, then what is the purpose? We're here to come to know Him, to grow in a relationship with Him, and spread the word of that purpose by all means. So let's get on it, and not just on Easter weekend. That's to those who know Him, but for those of you who don't have a relationship with Him; I pray you would come to know Him. I pray that you would cry out to Him, seek Him; because He will reveal Himself to you, I promise. I pray you do so with open eyes, open ears, and a open heart to truly give the God of the universe a chance to reveal Himself to you. I finally made that choice September 14, 2010, and my life hasn't been the same since. That all was just smacked in my face this weekend, so rejoice and rejoice every day!

with love,

Adam

Breathe

This is the air I breathe 

This is the air I breathe 

Your holy presence living in me 

This is my daily bread 

This is my daily bread 

Your very word spoken to me 

And I, I'm desperate for you 

And I, I'm lost without you 

This is the air I breathe 

This is the air I breathe 

Your holy presence living in me 

This is my daily bread 

This is my daily bread 

Your very word spoken to me 

And I, I'm desperate for you (I'm desperate for you) 

And I, I'm lost without you (I'm lost without you) 

And I, I'm desperate for you (I'm desperate for you) 

And I, I'm lost without you (I'm lost without you) 

(I'm lost without you, lost without you) 

This is the air I breathe 

This is the air I breathe 

Your holy presence living in me 

And I, I'm desperate for you (I'm desperate for you) 

And I, I'm lost without you (I'm lost without you) 

And I, I'm desperate for you (I'm desperate for you) 

And I, I'm lost without you (I'm lost without you) 

(I'm lost without you, lost without you) 

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, 

nor angels nor principalities nor things present nor things to come, 

nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, 

will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord

Dad, I am lost without You. I am so desperate for You. Father, I pray that I never lose the urgency for You in my life. I want You to be the air that I breath because anything else would just be poison to my lungs. I want You to be what fills me up, what raises me, what pulls and pushes me. I want You to be the only aspect of my life that has those affects on me. I'm tired of my pride and of my selfishness, I want You. Father this be the truest desire of my heart, I pray that it consumes me and those around me. That we never lose the urgency for You in our lives. That the same I cried out to You in tears, feeling that need of desperation for You in my life. That feeling and hunger for You, I pray that it never leaves me Dad, that it never leaves any of us. I ask this all in Your beautiful name, AMEN.


I felt like I needed to share my heart with you guys this morning, and this is what was on my heart the moment I opened my eyes today. It such a great feeling to be hungry for the Lord. I hope that the same hunger and desperation consumes You guys as well. I think the song is perfect to describe the feeling, and mix it with Amy Lee (<3) it becomes angelic. I hope you guys have a beautiful day, and glorify Him.


with love,
- Adam

Repeat.

I probably should have posted this prior to my last blog, oh well. I tend to write things and leave them unfinished in hopes to get back to it. Never happens, I either feel it's to personal to post or can't get the though back. Usually sits in my queue as a saved post. But here we go...

Repetition is everywhere. We experience it everyday, hence the repetitiveness. I'm currently experiencing a trend of repetition that I need to take note of. Things are repetitive for a reason, especially in my life at the moment; it is because God is trying to talk to me. Through different sermons, conversations, music, or podcasts. He is repeating things to me, and I should listen. I need to listen. When He repeats something, it's important. He does it in the Bible, and He does it in our lives. Go figure, God's character is holy. And it is the characteristic that is repeated three times when mentioned about Him; it says God is holy, holy, holy. It's a pattern He has to emphasize things.

I'm beginning to notice a pattern of my life, through my various writings, that there is sense of almost bi-polar-ness. One positive, one of struggle, then back and forth. One page is of how in love I am with Him, the next on how much I'm struggling. My friend called me out when I was talking to them about what I was going through. I appreciate them calling me out, to me that is a sign of a true friend (one that isn't afraid to be real with me and shoot me true). What they told me wasn't what I was expecting, but it was so true. My friend told me I was distant from God. How scary true it was, I haven't been reading nor praying like I should. I'd rarely even let it bother me, then when I came to my senses, I felt like a scumbag. Then due to my feeling like crap I don't read anyways. It's a stupid a cycle that I'm caught in. A repetitive process I have to fight through to burst out of. How can I? Everything is so wrong right now. Well, it's easy take the focus off of me, and back where it belongs on God. I've gone through tough times before, and I got through it by praising Him throughout it. I did it by focusing on Him not me while He got me through it. That's where I need to get back to. I need to cut out my distractions. Sorry T.V., sorry music, sorry sleeping in, I need to spend more time with God; especially since I have so much time.

And I'll pick up from there, with having so much time on my hand can be such a blessing, if I use it properly. If I just use it for Him, it'd be time well spent. I need to get closer to God. I should never stop getting closer to God. I can never be close enough to God. My hunger and thirst for Him should never cease. That is the desire I need to have, but it is a desire at times I lack. I lack it when I am being selfish, immature, and stupid. My life shows a lack of discipline beginning to rise, and I must stop it now. I need to get back to my discipline in every aspect of my life. I need to have more trust and faith in Him. He can do all things, and get me through all things; when my focus is where it belongs, on Him.

This is something that has been a theme as of late; and as God shows in His word, when He repeats something, it is for a reason.

with love,
-Adam

The Power of One

One is such an insignificant yet simultaneously significant number. Everything begins with one; think about it, you always start at one. It is so vital, but we bypass it so often as such an unimportant number. Why? I'm not sure honestly, I guess because it seems so miniscule. I use this analogy with my basketball teams to show the importance of one, think about the last time you won or lost a game by one point. It makes the world of a difference. One could be the difference between winning and losing. Also, think about sports team if they didn't have that one player, they probably wouldn't be as successful as they are with that player. I figure our lives to be very similar, at least spiritually. Jesus is that One. He is the One. The One who not only makes a difference, but is the difference. The difference between eternal life and eternal death is found through Jesus. Such a huge difference, and it is all based on One. Also without Him, we for sure would be far from as successful as we could be with Him.

I'm really focusing on Jesus as of late. I know it's been a while since my last blog, so I'll be honest. I was in a weird place. I was in a place where I really felt like I was loving God more, with beginning to serve Him at a new church, starting to lead studies at my group; I was starting to do all these things that made me feel like I was getting close and loving God so much more for who He is, but honestly it wasn't making a difference. I didn't feel a genuine love growing, and I understand why now. I am thankful for a friend of mine (I'm thankful for all of them) who was trusting enough to be honest with me. Honest enough to call me out and tell me I was distant from God. How right they were, I was distant from the One. The One who brought me out of darkness. I had stopped reading, despite my desire to do it. I had stopped praying genuine prayers all the time, and resorted to quick words not from my heart. I was cussing again, sinning left and right. Becoming self-centered with my problems and resulting pride that was leaving them unresolved. I am a very prideful creature but when I am focused on Him, I quickly get humbled and become that selfless person that my friends so often appreciate. It is only logical when I have Jesus as my strive that I am influenced by Him, and vice versa.

This was all just the beginning though, step one in the process as of late. I received the same message the following 5 days through various things, be it church, study group, sermon podcasts. It was all too clear now, and it culminated last Wednesday; when my eyes were truly opened to the real problem. I had lost my faith and trust in God. I was being selfish again, wanting to handle life on my own. It all leads back to a lack of faith and trust in the One, but why? I've been starting to realize I lack a true knowledge of who Christ is. In order to be like Jesus, I have to know Jesus. I have to study Jesus. I have to study what He did, what He said, who He was with, and where He went. I need to know about my Savior so I can act and grow like Him.

Forget trying to read Paul's letters to learn to be radical for the gospel, forget Jeremiah's 40 years of faithful servanthood, none of it matters if I don't even know the teachings and parables of Jesus, the One. He is the One who altered history. The One gave a reason to live, a reason for hope, a chance at life after death. He is the One who rescued and died for me. My heart breaks when I think about how little I really know about Jesus. I want to study Jesus, I want learn about Jesus, so I can consequently carry out what He asks of me. He is the One whose birth we base our calendar year. He raised from the dead, He healed the sick, He loved the outcasts, He stood up to everyone for the name of His Father, our Father. He made an impact, a difference. He showed that one person can change history. He showed He is the One who changed history. He showed the power of One.

That's where I'm at right now, as upfront and real as possible. I am not at where I seem, I am struggling everyday. But I know how to fix it, and that is by relying on the One. Learning about the One, having faith and trust in the One. I'm so far from perfect, but I'm clawing and scratching my way towards His standard. I know I will fall short, but I'm relying on the One to get me back up and keep me moving forward. I rely on the One to give me the need to depend on Him, to read about Him, to talk to Him, to learn about Him. I'm relying on the power of One.

with love,
- Adam

Candlelight

A passion for christ that's being continually set a blaze. It's unbelievable that from the depths of my soul I can find more and more of a love for You. But it all starts from a love that was first given to me. A love that is truly undeserved, but for some reason He made me with a purpose; that reason, is for Him to love me. And in response, I have no response but to love Him back. I know He has no reason to love me, but He does so. It's why I cried for Him almost 8 months ago, literally cried shouting for Him. I found the love I've always longed for, in Him. The love that is purely unconditional, a love that will never depreciate pending on me and my actions; but one, that will just continually increase regardless. It is why I can some how find more and more of a passion for Him. I am bound to break again in tears for You. After months of a somewhat cold streak (in regards of life direction), I feel You grasping my life and placing it exactly where You want, doing exactly what You need me to. I'm getting chills just thinking of the potential that you're instilling me. A potential that would allow me to be used for You, by You, to only glorify You more through it. Dad, I love You. I love You. I LOVE YOU, but it's only because You did the impossible and loved me first. Praise You for that. Thank You for that. Now I only wish to display that love to the world, a world that desperately needs to see the love that You're dying to drown them in, or better yet, You died to drown them in. If you don't know that love, I pray that it be made known in your life and that Christ just consumes you in that love. I encourage those to embrace it, respond to it, and you'll never have a reason to look back again but to thank Him. More and more I pray that You Dad, place no ceiling on the love I can have for You, because Yours came first and has no ceiling. God is love.

With love as always,
Adam

Pressing On

I think I'm at a lost for words in a way. I am so pressed, crushed, and hurting, but yet so encouraged, enthusiastic, and ready. I got a lot on my mind, just overall I have a lot going on. I should be taking a step back, a breather to catch myself and analyze, but I'm not going to. Lord, I am charging forward with my faith in You at full steam. I feel like taking off running and getting away from my problems, rather I'm just running towards You. I have no idea what I'm doing honestly, but I don't care. I know You are at the heart and center of what I want and where I'm at right now, and I shall continue going whereever it may lead me. This is not typical of me, I like to figure things out first; but right now, I just need to follow You. It makes no sense to some of my friends and maybe family; why I'm deciding to do some of the things I do. But Dad, You called me to move forward, with or without, and it's time to go. It's time to stop concerning myself on improving myself first, to stop consuming myself in trying to get churched, and it's time to go out and be the church; join and be an active part of the body that is the church. I have a lot of passions and desires, I'm not sure how they're going to get done. But with my Dad as the driving force behind me, I know good and greater things are yet to come. I pray and urge you to join in this body. We have opportunities every day, every where, and all day to serve people, to be a light to people, and to show the love of Christ to a world that needs and is seeking it. I'm not holy, I'm not perfect, and I'm definitely not the most well equipped, but I have a strong growing burning passion for God. And the opportunity to share my Dad's love with others, is an opportunity I will not ignore anymore. Sacrifices are going to be made, I may not be as available or social; I do promise to be detourable, but I'm on a mission. I wish my life to really mean nothing, if I am not testifying to the world about the grace of God. Be it by my words, my actions, my thoughts, I pray to scream Your name to this world. It's not easy, I'm hurting a little bit, I am discouraged, I miss people, but I can't stop and I need to press on towards the call. Carry me Father, breathe more passion and strength in me and every one.

with love,

- Adam

P.S. I just picked up a twitter, so follow me if you choose @itsahapp