Repeat.

I probably should have posted this prior to my last blog, oh well. I tend to write things and leave them unfinished in hopes to get back to it. Never happens, I either feel it's to personal to post or can't get the though back. Usually sits in my queue as a saved post. But here we go...

Repetition is everywhere. We experience it everyday, hence the repetitiveness. I'm currently experiencing a trend of repetition that I need to take note of. Things are repetitive for a reason, especially in my life at the moment; it is because God is trying to talk to me. Through different sermons, conversations, music, or podcasts. He is repeating things to me, and I should listen. I need to listen. When He repeats something, it's important. He does it in the Bible, and He does it in our lives. Go figure, God's character is holy. And it is the characteristic that is repeated three times when mentioned about Him; it says God is holy, holy, holy. It's a pattern He has to emphasize things.

I'm beginning to notice a pattern of my life, through my various writings, that there is sense of almost bi-polar-ness. One positive, one of struggle, then back and forth. One page is of how in love I am with Him, the next on how much I'm struggling. My friend called me out when I was talking to them about what I was going through. I appreciate them calling me out, to me that is a sign of a true friend (one that isn't afraid to be real with me and shoot me true). What they told me wasn't what I was expecting, but it was so true. My friend told me I was distant from God. How scary true it was, I haven't been reading nor praying like I should. I'd rarely even let it bother me, then when I came to my senses, I felt like a scumbag. Then due to my feeling like crap I don't read anyways. It's a stupid a cycle that I'm caught in. A repetitive process I have to fight through to burst out of. How can I? Everything is so wrong right now. Well, it's easy take the focus off of me, and back where it belongs on God. I've gone through tough times before, and I got through it by praising Him throughout it. I did it by focusing on Him not me while He got me through it. That's where I need to get back to. I need to cut out my distractions. Sorry T.V., sorry music, sorry sleeping in, I need to spend more time with God; especially since I have so much time.

And I'll pick up from there, with having so much time on my hand can be such a blessing, if I use it properly. If I just use it for Him, it'd be time well spent. I need to get closer to God. I should never stop getting closer to God. I can never be close enough to God. My hunger and thirst for Him should never cease. That is the desire I need to have, but it is a desire at times I lack. I lack it when I am being selfish, immature, and stupid. My life shows a lack of discipline beginning to rise, and I must stop it now. I need to get back to my discipline in every aspect of my life. I need to have more trust and faith in Him. He can do all things, and get me through all things; when my focus is where it belongs, on Him.

This is something that has been a theme as of late; and as God shows in His word, when He repeats something, it is for a reason.

with love,
-Adam