Man up.

Author Douglas Wilson defines true masculinity as “the glad assumption of responsibility.” Man I pray to be a man of true Godly masculinity. I want to be a man who takes on the glad assumption of Godly responsibility in His life. I want to be a true Christ follower, a true spiritual leader, a never ceasing prayer warrior. One who seeks council in You. One who can help others in their ways, yet strong enough and humble enough to pray for himself to not lose His. I want to be a man truly dependent on God and willing to accept help from those He puts around me. I want to be a man stripped of all earthly pride, but takes heavenly pride in His Father. I want to give myself up for others, especially for my wife so God chooses to bless me with one, one day. As scripture says I want to be able to say I love her and others as Christ loved the church and give Himself up for the church. I want to be able say every day that today is His and for His glory. I want my life to be all about Him. I want to be a leader, a decision maker, but one that is wise enough first to listen and trust God, secondly to be humble enough to ask and accept advice. Most importantly, I don't want to ever disappoint You. I want to make You proud. I know the beauty is You're so loving and merciful, that I'll never hear the words I'm disappointed in or ashamed of you. But I want to do as my life verse says in Acts 20:24, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." I want to go so hard after, following You; that the day You call me home, I arrive collapsing, short of breathe, only to be lifted up and find rest in You from the words "Welcome Home Adam. Well done my good and faithful servant".

These might be a lot of standards to hold myself up to, but it is the life I feel called to live by Him. I don't see how I can live life any other way but His. I know I'm far from being there, to be honest I might or might not achieve these standard at all at some point, if ever; but God, through Your power and guidance I will strive, I will strive.

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. - Psalm 1:1-2

How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, LORD; teach me your decrees. With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth. I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word. - Psalm 119:9-16

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. - 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Be Blessed,
- Adam

Back.

So being only on Tumblr just didn't work out the way I wanted; I missed being here. First off, what drew me back. Tonight I started skimming through my old posts and now I've begun tearing up now. Just seeing all that God has done in me since day 1 is so humbling and yet seeing how in love and passionate about my new found salvation breaks my heart. It shatters me to know I'm not there anymore, and I don't understand why or what led me here. I have no one to blame but myself. As always I got in the way of me. It's basic math, easy solution, remove myself from the equation. Go back to making my life all about Him. I can tell you right now, I am laying in bed listening to a band called Starfield. The last 3 songs have just broken me completely.


Some of the lyrics:
"I want to get back to where it all began, When I would long for only You. Like a child I'll take You at Your Word, as these mountains of doubt, they fade away. I'm longing to trust and love You more, so for me this is beautiful. A brand new thought, and a brand new world, can I stay here forever with You? I've lost sight of what first drew me to the love that pursued me" - "Can I Stay Here Forever" - Starfield


"So, I want to let go. I want to let You know all that I have to give is Yours" - "All For You" - Starfield


"For what do I have, if I don't have You, Jesus" - "Cry in My Heart" - Starfield




Christ, You have been faithful to me always. I see throughout since day 1, when I pulled over that night broken and meek, just crying, screaming for You in sweet surrender. You have held up to be everything You said You are. You have changed me and everything around me. You have loved me, embraced me, led me, comforted me, built me up, given me a firm rock to stand upon. You have been everything You said You are and more, yet I find myself today having forgotten all that. Yeah sure, I've been praying and serving, occasionally reading and doing the things I should. Yeah sure I haven't become some heathen or terrible example of a Christian, but somewhere along the way I lost myself in myself. I have forgotten who You are and what You've done for me. I forgot who I am in You. I've allowed disappointments to lead me from loving and trusting You, not realizing that Your sovereignty has been there all along, showing everything has been for my good. So God, I come to a place of seeking grace again. I ask You to engulf me in Your mercy again. I ask that I lose myself in You. I want to be for You, about You again. I give You back all my trust, You deserve it. Even if I had nothing, I have You and that is enough!

that is so true and for that I thank You

with love,

-Adam

Moving On.

I think it's time to retire this blog. I think I'm going all on in on Tumblr. Follow me at http://imageoftheinvisible.tumblr.com/
Thank you for following and reading. I hope it served it's purpose in helping others.
Yours Truly, Adam

fight from your knees

Fight from your knees and the giants will fall. Are you kidding me? How is that even possible? Aren't at some sort of disadvantage?The fighting from your knees is, well, it's called prayer; something we all say we'll do but few of us actually do consistently. Oh man, I'll keep you in prayer, and you never do it. Or have you wondered why you're struggling with something or just searching for answers but can't find the right direction anywhere. One simple explanation, you're trying to do it on your own. Newsflash, you won't be able to accomplish it on your own. We can't, we're weak to the flesh. In John 15, Jesus makes the last of what we have learned to call the 7 I am statements. The seventh one He makes it clear to us, He refers to Himself as the True Vine. We are His branches. They are so many different ways to look at this, but the way I see it right now is that we only can do and live through Him. Let's take a tree, if you cut the branch off; it's rendered useless. Very much so, if you cut Christ out of our equation, it's useless. Why can't you stop sinning, why do you always give in, why are you stuck in this plateauing dry season? Check your relationship with Him, and be honest while you're at it. Oh yeah I have a strong relationship but I don't know man I'm struggling. Well how strong is your relationship, how often are you reading our instruction guide or what I refer to as my survival kit, the Bible. That's where you'll find your answers, that's where your relationship, knowledge, and love will grow and strengthen. Read God's word, then pray sincerely. Spend time with your Father, talk to Him, listen to Him. How do you expect to grow and act like Him, when you don't know Him well.You want to conquer? You want to your life flip around? Dedicate your life to prayer and reading His word; not just Christian books, articles, or podcasts as good as they are, they shouldn't take precedence over reading His word and hardcore prayer time. You want to see the giants of your life fall, start praying to God who conquers and empowers; start fighting from your knees. It's ironic to be writing this because it's my biggest weakness, so don't think you're alone. 


love always.
-adam

It's been a while...

So hello again, it's been a while; I've only written four times this summer, I'm sorry for that. You probably don't care, but I do, it's kind of an apology to myself too. I forget how important it is for me to write because it's one of the few channels I have at getting my truest thoughts out; the other being prayer, and even then I write those most of the time. 


Well, let's see, this summer I've definitely kind of taken an emotional break. The past year has been an emotional ride for sure, and at the beginning of the summer I just felt overtaken by my emotions. It was only thing ever on my mind. My emotions consumed me. Then came Costa Rica, which was probably one of the best, if not the best experience of my life. God broke through me there. Some of the darkness of my past had creeped back in, I was no longer refreshed, no longer really motivated. God changed that in Costa Rica. He peeled my eyes open again to see where I was at now and not where I was at before. 


That's where I'm focusing now, I'm focused on the here and now. It's all I have, it's all we have. We had the past, it's gone. We don't have our futures, because it's not guaranteed. So the here and now. I see it differently now, as to before when I focused on everything that had gone on. This last year has been challenging and trying. Whether it be my own emotions challenging me, whether it be the lost of a loved one, changes amongst my friends, dealing with school problems, jobs, conflicts of my heart, frustration of the lack of progress in my life after months of leaps and bounds of progress. Those are just some of the things that consumed me. I let it go, and let God. Allowing all those things to consume and keep my focus away from God became a form of idol worship. It snuck up on me and took control. I'm glad to say things have turned out better now. I know it's because I'm no longer carrying heavy burdens, heavy concerns, heavy emotions. They all were casted on my God, where they belong. Since then God has really shown me a light at the end of this tunnel of chaos I had going on. I don't think I've sprinted harder to that light. I can say I'm basking in His light now. And I can see He is blessing me for it. I found the flight I was longing for. I just celebrated my 23rd birthday just 3 days ago, and I feel it already going to be a better year. Just yesterday I started a journey of an opportunity that has been placed before me by a man I view in high regards and as another father, and all opened up by God Himself. I started my employment with Chik-fil-a with the purpose of being in their management program to hopefully one day become a franchise operator. It will be stressful, it will be challenging, it will be pushing and demanding, but I will be fearless, I will be faithful, and I will be pressing on in Him. Because in Him I can do all things, with His strength I can achieve things; and all the glory goes not to myself or anyone else but Him. I absolutely love my life right now, but I absolutely adore God for always being faithful, merciful, graceful, and loving towards me. Glory to God and God alone! 


Well I hope this can be encouraging. If you're struggling or lacking direction. Lean on Him and not your own understanding. Trust in Him, just try it and see where He takes you. He won't let you down, promise.




Well with love as always,
- Adam

This is how the heart breaks

The breaking point I've been seeking for months has arrived; my heart has now been shattered to pieces, in the best way possible. Has anything really changed? No. I'm still struggling, I still have things that are bothering me, I still have issues to work through, people are still hurting and upsetting me; but the difference is my focus. I don't care anymore! Why consume myself, upset myself, drive myself on issues and situations beyond my control that have resulted in me missing and losing the joy I had. It's a matter of perspective and that perspective has been my point of view for a while. Woe is me! I am selfish, I am stupid. I have placed myself before You. How dare I?! Lord, Father, Aba, Dad forgive me. I lost the driving force that had me passionate for You. That driving force being the remembrance of how I was once lost, and how so many people all around are just as lost as I was. That this world is filled with people that don't know Jesus and are in dire need of a Savior. Who the heck am I; to spend my days concerning myself with petty immature issues rather than on the real purpose of my life, which is to spread the good news. What happened to my life verse, Acts 20:24? Have I really been roaming a meaningless life these last 2 months or so? In part, yes! Like the verse says, I consider my life to be meaningless if I'm not testifying to gospel of God's grace, and I haven't been placing that priority on my life. I have been so focus on myself; my life, my issues, my struggles, my walk. Not that any of that isn't important, but it shouldn't be the central focus of my life. Testifying about God's grace needs to be my concern. The cross and what Jesus did on it should be the epicenter of it all. I need to go back to a cross-centered life. I'm back to a cross-centered life. I'm realizing again where I was, where I'm at, and how it is all about Him.


I wrote this about a month ago, right before Costa Rica. It has been sitting among other things on my drafts list. It was just days before I departed, and I had just finished my 3 week fast in prep for the trip. I share this not to boast, or well not boast about myself. I share this to boast Him. This was before the trip, I needed to be broken down and He was faithful. Better yet He is faithful and will always be faithful. It's why we need to be at the heart of constant worship of Him and who He is. I don't think Costa Rica could have been so impactful on me, if I did not seek Him prior. I needed to be broken, I needed to be stripped bear again, I needed desperately to rip the flesh off my bones to be just mind, heart, and soul for Him. I say this to tell you to just trust Him. When it seems impossible, when it seems possible, when it is easy, when it is hard, when you have other options, when you have no other options; just trust Him! He is good, He is faithful, He is true, always! Praise You!


love always.
-Adam

Follow You

There is so much going on, so much around me and I don't seem to care about anything but YOU. Thank You Father for allowing me to refocus, for changing my perspective and outlook, for stealing my heart, for bringing me back to the heart of worship. Call me selfish but everything that consumed me prior to Costa Rica has been shoved aside for my Lord, my Dad, my Savior, the only one who truly loves me; and that is the way it should be. He isn't number 1 on my priority list, He IS my priority list. I just pray that You help me remain here with my eyes fixed on only You. I know decisions aren't easy, but the ones I'm making are the ones I know You're guiding me through to make. I ignored Your lead for too long, so now I follow You to wherever You take me. First step of me becoming the leader He's calling me to be, is to first learn to follow His lead. 

I posted that on my Tumblr account just the other day, and I have to admit, that it truly doesn't begin to describe my heart right now. This verse comes to heart, Psalms 61:1-2 "Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I". I know I have a higher calling than what I've been living up to thus far in my walk with Him. I know I am called to greater things, I know I am called to be stronger, to be more of a leader (and one that truly leads by example first). But I have desperately needed to answer His calling, but I've been ignoring it for months; just like I ignored His call for so many years. Lord, I am here! Send me! Do with me what You want. I am Your servant! My life means nothing to me anymore, I just desire to testify to who You are and that is it! I have said this so many times, but I am crying it out now; just like I cried out His name that night and He answered. He IS answering again. It's been almost a month since the most amazing experience of my life, Costa Rica. A quick side note: Thanks to Him for being faithful and true, thanks to you who first mentioned it to me that night and encouraged me to go, to those who suggested I pray on it and seek God about it, to those who prayed for me before, during, and after. Thanks to you all who it made it possible for me to experience this. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I hope to write all about it soon, but for now I'll just say it was a life changing experience that has opened my eyes to who God has been calling me to be. I can't begin to tell you of how much I'm letting go because He told me to. So much has held me down for months, so much has distracted me. I cast down my walls, my idols, my distractions and I lay them all down to glorify You. You have shown me how and why I need to obey, and faithful You will be to me when I just trust and follow. I am not sure why it has taken me so long to understand, when there is proof all around me at the results when you do as such. But here I am Dad, take me where You want; pull, push, peel, stretch, mold me as You want; guide me as You wish because all I know and all I want to know is You, Yahweh.

Love always, 

-Adam

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20