fight from your knees

Fight from your knees and the giants will fall. Are you kidding me? How is that even possible? Aren't at some sort of disadvantage?The fighting from your knees is, well, it's called prayer; something we all say we'll do but few of us actually do consistently. Oh man, I'll keep you in prayer, and you never do it. Or have you wondered why you're struggling with something or just searching for answers but can't find the right direction anywhere. One simple explanation, you're trying to do it on your own. Newsflash, you won't be able to accomplish it on your own. We can't, we're weak to the flesh. In John 15, Jesus makes the last of what we have learned to call the 7 I am statements. The seventh one He makes it clear to us, He refers to Himself as the True Vine. We are His branches. They are so many different ways to look at this, but the way I see it right now is that we only can do and live through Him. Let's take a tree, if you cut the branch off; it's rendered useless. Very much so, if you cut Christ out of our equation, it's useless. Why can't you stop sinning, why do you always give in, why are you stuck in this plateauing dry season? Check your relationship with Him, and be honest while you're at it. Oh yeah I have a strong relationship but I don't know man I'm struggling. Well how strong is your relationship, how often are you reading our instruction guide or what I refer to as my survival kit, the Bible. That's where you'll find your answers, that's where your relationship, knowledge, and love will grow and strengthen. Read God's word, then pray sincerely. Spend time with your Father, talk to Him, listen to Him. How do you expect to grow and act like Him, when you don't know Him well.You want to conquer? You want to your life flip around? Dedicate your life to prayer and reading His word; not just Christian books, articles, or podcasts as good as they are, they shouldn't take precedence over reading His word and hardcore prayer time. You want to see the giants of your life fall, start praying to God who conquers and empowers; start fighting from your knees. It's ironic to be writing this because it's my biggest weakness, so don't think you're alone. 


love always.
-adam

It's been a while...

So hello again, it's been a while; I've only written four times this summer, I'm sorry for that. You probably don't care, but I do, it's kind of an apology to myself too. I forget how important it is for me to write because it's one of the few channels I have at getting my truest thoughts out; the other being prayer, and even then I write those most of the time. 


Well, let's see, this summer I've definitely kind of taken an emotional break. The past year has been an emotional ride for sure, and at the beginning of the summer I just felt overtaken by my emotions. It was only thing ever on my mind. My emotions consumed me. Then came Costa Rica, which was probably one of the best, if not the best experience of my life. God broke through me there. Some of the darkness of my past had creeped back in, I was no longer refreshed, no longer really motivated. God changed that in Costa Rica. He peeled my eyes open again to see where I was at now and not where I was at before. 


That's where I'm focusing now, I'm focused on the here and now. It's all I have, it's all we have. We had the past, it's gone. We don't have our futures, because it's not guaranteed. So the here and now. I see it differently now, as to before when I focused on everything that had gone on. This last year has been challenging and trying. Whether it be my own emotions challenging me, whether it be the lost of a loved one, changes amongst my friends, dealing with school problems, jobs, conflicts of my heart, frustration of the lack of progress in my life after months of leaps and bounds of progress. Those are just some of the things that consumed me. I let it go, and let God. Allowing all those things to consume and keep my focus away from God became a form of idol worship. It snuck up on me and took control. I'm glad to say things have turned out better now. I know it's because I'm no longer carrying heavy burdens, heavy concerns, heavy emotions. They all were casted on my God, where they belong. Since then God has really shown me a light at the end of this tunnel of chaos I had going on. I don't think I've sprinted harder to that light. I can say I'm basking in His light now. And I can see He is blessing me for it. I found the flight I was longing for. I just celebrated my 23rd birthday just 3 days ago, and I feel it already going to be a better year. Just yesterday I started a journey of an opportunity that has been placed before me by a man I view in high regards and as another father, and all opened up by God Himself. I started my employment with Chik-fil-a with the purpose of being in their management program to hopefully one day become a franchise operator. It will be stressful, it will be challenging, it will be pushing and demanding, but I will be fearless, I will be faithful, and I will be pressing on in Him. Because in Him I can do all things, with His strength I can achieve things; and all the glory goes not to myself or anyone else but Him. I absolutely love my life right now, but I absolutely adore God for always being faithful, merciful, graceful, and loving towards me. Glory to God and God alone! 


Well I hope this can be encouraging. If you're struggling or lacking direction. Lean on Him and not your own understanding. Trust in Him, just try it and see where He takes you. He won't let you down, promise.




Well with love as always,
- Adam

This is how the heart breaks

The breaking point I've been seeking for months has arrived; my heart has now been shattered to pieces, in the best way possible. Has anything really changed? No. I'm still struggling, I still have things that are bothering me, I still have issues to work through, people are still hurting and upsetting me; but the difference is my focus. I don't care anymore! Why consume myself, upset myself, drive myself on issues and situations beyond my control that have resulted in me missing and losing the joy I had. It's a matter of perspective and that perspective has been my point of view for a while. Woe is me! I am selfish, I am stupid. I have placed myself before You. How dare I?! Lord, Father, Aba, Dad forgive me. I lost the driving force that had me passionate for You. That driving force being the remembrance of how I was once lost, and how so many people all around are just as lost as I was. That this world is filled with people that don't know Jesus and are in dire need of a Savior. Who the heck am I; to spend my days concerning myself with petty immature issues rather than on the real purpose of my life, which is to spread the good news. What happened to my life verse, Acts 20:24? Have I really been roaming a meaningless life these last 2 months or so? In part, yes! Like the verse says, I consider my life to be meaningless if I'm not testifying to gospel of God's grace, and I haven't been placing that priority on my life. I have been so focus on myself; my life, my issues, my struggles, my walk. Not that any of that isn't important, but it shouldn't be the central focus of my life. Testifying about God's grace needs to be my concern. The cross and what Jesus did on it should be the epicenter of it all. I need to go back to a cross-centered life. I'm back to a cross-centered life. I'm realizing again where I was, where I'm at, and how it is all about Him.


I wrote this about a month ago, right before Costa Rica. It has been sitting among other things on my drafts list. It was just days before I departed, and I had just finished my 3 week fast in prep for the trip. I share this not to boast, or well not boast about myself. I share this to boast Him. This was before the trip, I needed to be broken down and He was faithful. Better yet He is faithful and will always be faithful. It's why we need to be at the heart of constant worship of Him and who He is. I don't think Costa Rica could have been so impactful on me, if I did not seek Him prior. I needed to be broken, I needed to be stripped bear again, I needed desperately to rip the flesh off my bones to be just mind, heart, and soul for Him. I say this to tell you to just trust Him. When it seems impossible, when it seems possible, when it is easy, when it is hard, when you have other options, when you have no other options; just trust Him! He is good, He is faithful, He is true, always! Praise You!


love always.
-Adam

Follow You

There is so much going on, so much around me and I don't seem to care about anything but YOU. Thank You Father for allowing me to refocus, for changing my perspective and outlook, for stealing my heart, for bringing me back to the heart of worship. Call me selfish but everything that consumed me prior to Costa Rica has been shoved aside for my Lord, my Dad, my Savior, the only one who truly loves me; and that is the way it should be. He isn't number 1 on my priority list, He IS my priority list. I just pray that You help me remain here with my eyes fixed on only You. I know decisions aren't easy, but the ones I'm making are the ones I know You're guiding me through to make. I ignored Your lead for too long, so now I follow You to wherever You take me. First step of me becoming the leader He's calling me to be, is to first learn to follow His lead. 

I posted that on my Tumblr account just the other day, and I have to admit, that it truly doesn't begin to describe my heart right now. This verse comes to heart, Psalms 61:1-2 "Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I". I know I have a higher calling than what I've been living up to thus far in my walk with Him. I know I am called to greater things, I know I am called to be stronger, to be more of a leader (and one that truly leads by example first). But I have desperately needed to answer His calling, but I've been ignoring it for months; just like I ignored His call for so many years. Lord, I am here! Send me! Do with me what You want. I am Your servant! My life means nothing to me anymore, I just desire to testify to who You are and that is it! I have said this so many times, but I am crying it out now; just like I cried out His name that night and He answered. He IS answering again. It's been almost a month since the most amazing experience of my life, Costa Rica. A quick side note: Thanks to Him for being faithful and true, thanks to you who first mentioned it to me that night and encouraged me to go, to those who suggested I pray on it and seek God about it, to those who prayed for me before, during, and after. Thanks to you all who it made it possible for me to experience this. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I hope to write all about it soon, but for now I'll just say it was a life changing experience that has opened my eyes to who God has been calling me to be. I can't begin to tell you of how much I'm letting go because He told me to. So much has held me down for months, so much has distracted me. I cast down my walls, my idols, my distractions and I lay them all down to glorify You. You have shown me how and why I need to obey, and faithful You will be to me when I just trust and follow. I am not sure why it has taken me so long to understand, when there is proof all around me at the results when you do as such. But here I am Dad, take me where You want; pull, push, peel, stretch, mold me as You want; guide me as You wish because all I know and all I want to know is You, Yahweh.

Love always, 

-Adam

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20

Bon Voyage.

I'll make this short, I expect my next post to be lengthy. Well I leave tomorrow morning to Costa Rica on my first mission trip. I can't begin to describe how excited and stoked I am. I honestly don't know what to expect, I am clueless as to what God is going to do through this mission work. I just know I prayed hard, and was chosen for this by His divine plan to go. I know I was selected to go out to a country with people that have a divine appointment with the Living Breathing God of the universe. That is honestly all I have, I know there is a purpose for this trip; what it is exactly I don't know. I'll be going with an open heart and open mind to serve the God of my life. I feel truly called for this trip, my passion is trying to reach lost people that are need to hear the gospel. I desire to live out the Great Commission. I pray God uses us in a mighty way on this trip. I pray that all those involved or come in contact will be rocked by Jesus Christ. I ask that you keep us in prayers as we travel and work for our Father. I ask you pray for those God has a divine appointment for, that they have an open receiving heart and mind willing to see the good news we bring. Just keep us in severe prayer. I love you guys, and I hope to come with news of how God rocked this world more than He already has.

With love as always,
Adam

Hopeless?

We could all bear the world, and fold our dreams to faults.
But when did hope fall short, and force our lines to crawl?
- Oh, Sleeper

This is a lyric by one of my favorite bands right now, and that is Oh, Sleeper. I feel this is a perfect representation of a lot of our lives. Amid the chaos of life, we get so caught up in being "hopeless". I am a victim of this for sure, unfortunately. I'm not sure why it is so easy for us to lose focus of the big picture so quickly; but it is definitely something we all experience at one time or another. Whether it is a certain situation giving us trouble, maybe a habitual sin we feel bound to, or just life in general overwhelmingly crippling you to a corner wanting nothing more than an escape. I can tell you from experience in all three of those that it is hard not to just fold up the tent and see our hope fall short leaving us in a limbo of hopelessness. It is way more difficult to fight through it and keep your focus on God amidst trials. But can I tell you a secret, this is only the case when we do it by our own power, on our terms, and basically without God. Here is a newsflash we suck as people, we are natural born sinners that just wreak of horridness. We can't do anything without Him. In John 15:5-8, Jesus makes the second of His "I am" statements when He says, "I am the Vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does remain in Me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. This is to My Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." He clearly states we are branches of Him, but apart from Him we can't do nothing. The Bible likes to reference us as plants or trees, and I think it's a great representation. They each have roots and pending what they're rooted in, pends how they will grow. It is the same for us, pending what we are rooting ourselves in, will in turn result the kind of person we grow to become or the fruit we will bear. So you want those good fruits, the ones like strength, faith, and dedication, the ones that will get us through those tough times, trials, or habits; then we need to be rooting ourselves habitually in Him. That is the bottom line, like I mentioned earlier it's Him that will carry us through. It's no wonder things seem "hopeless" at times, it's usually because we're seeing things through our perspective based on what we alone are capable of on our own limited capabilities. So stop, get your eyes off yourself (I'm including myself in this one) and focus back on God. It's not us, it's Him that will make a way for us to get through it in Him. It's why our prayer life needs to be strong, so we're familiar with Him, we're comfortable with Him, we can trust and have our faith in Him. It's why we need to be reading and digging in His Word, so we can see what God is like, so we can know what He's done, what He is capable of, it's proof of how faithful He is. Man, let's persevere through it in prayer and dedication to Him; so that our hope never falls shorts.


with love,
Adam

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair. - 2 Corinthians 4:8

Listening Skills.

15 Fools think their own way is right,
but the wise listen to others.

I just got smacked in the face with reality, thank you God for pointing it out again. He is pretty good at it. Flaws or I guess habits that I know I have, but I can’t seem to shake. Geez, do I need to learn to listen, especially to those that care and are taking the time to sit and help me. I’m always quick to jump the gun and speak, always quick to be somewhat defensive. I need to learn so bad how to stay humble and shut up. It’s so hard because not something I knowingly do, but I tend to catch myself in the process; which consequently is too late already. Ahh, it’s frustrating. I don’t know if it’s a pride issue or a stubborn thing, but I know it’s definitely a problem nevertheless. God, I need You so bad. This is not something I can shake on my own. This is where if I was just that much more Christ-like I could shake. Unfortunately, it’s such a lifelong process. I can only pray this isn’t a lifelong issue. I know and can see how it affects those speaking to me. It’s just so rude and inconsiderate. Lord, break me, break this habit of my own. Dad, just rid me of myself so when I talk it’s You, and when I listen it’s You. Just help me continue to grow to be more Christ-like. Help me be slow to speak. Give me the discipline to read more, the dependency to speak with You more, and the brokenness to just desire and love You more. For I know, this is how to become more like You Jesus.

To those I’ve unfortunately done this to, I’m truly sorry. Shamelessly tell me to be quiet, call me out to listen first. Hopefully in time, I can grow to be a true listener; to not be such a fool, but to be wise in His eyes.

With love,
- Adam

So again want smack in the face, yeah He does it. Sure enough I wrote the above earlier tonight while working at a basketball tournament. I was bored, waiting for the night to finish, so I decided to take the opportunity as a chance to read the Word. So I picked up in Proverbs, and sure enough I read the above verse mention, Proverbs 12:15. I immediately felt the conviction like I said, but God wasn't done talking to me and teaching me tonight. I arrived tonight at my meeting for the Costa Rica trip, and yeah there it is again being reemphasized. It wasn't really the purpose of tonight's session, but a friend made such a valuable point about listening. So vital to take the time to truly just listen; like the verse I mentioned says it's wise to listen to others. Sure enough I'm a fool, unfortunately. Later on tonight, I got chance to truly put in play and practice what I was being taught and shown by Him. So humbling to experience the Lord, just talk to me and then use me for His purpose. It's crazy how "coincidental" things tend to happen sometimes. How every thing just seems to go together, like a true process. You call coincidence, I'll call it His perfect plan. It's amazing what your eyes can be opened to when you take the time to just listen. 

Thank You Father for Your never ending patience with me. I ask You continue Your work in me and through me. Teach me, rebuke me, improve Dad. I love You, I need You. Amen.

so again with love,

- Adam